he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
