I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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