she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
