apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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