yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
