this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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