I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
