i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
