btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
