How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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