Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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