Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we have pet lesbian snakes
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
