I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
