I must be too annoying 4 u.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
