I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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