All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
