btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
