I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I checked into jail on foursquare
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
