escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
