I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you had me at cake vodka
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
