I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
