You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
