Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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