your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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