sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
