So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
