Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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