She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
