New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
