Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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