I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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