Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
