Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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