Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
