Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
