I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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