People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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