You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
