3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
