What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
