just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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