Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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