I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
