I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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