I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
