I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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