Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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