we have pet lesbian snakes
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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