Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
