belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
