Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I guess I misjudged your gender.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.

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(310): View more from California

The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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(571): View more from Virginia

i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.

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(775): View more from Nevada

So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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(409): View more from Texas

He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'

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(208): View more from Idaho

We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.

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